Wisdom for Joy in The Everyday

Just for you from Dr Elinor James

Alright I admit it I am not yet wise, I’m still a Young Jedi, 33 years young actually. But back to the point - did you know, that JOY doesn’t just exist on the weekends?

So basically, what I’ve heard is, all it takes is a little slowing down. Joy can become available to you, whenever you choose, is what I have heard on the grape vine. And it turns out that I have actually found this to to be true in real life (I rate this discovery as highly cool on the cool scale).

Uh, have you ever heard of mindfulness? It could be paying attention to the scent of your morning americano, to the glowy warmth of the sun on your skin (through your bedroom window OR on your daily walk if you’re excellent enough to exercise daily), or not rushing through the pass-on-the-stairs laughs with your colleagues. Paying attention to these moments amplifies your happiness because the longer you focus on good, the less time you can focus on bad. Makes good sense yes?

Have you seen the film About Time? Watch.

Another way to infuse joy (like a herbal tea) into your life is by creating rituals. Instead of rushing through your day, have you ever thought about trying to turn tasks into meaningful rituals? For example, cooking dinner can become an opportunity for creativity and self-expression (lol does this sound ridiculous?). But genuinely, setting the table slowly and beautifully and savouring each bite of food can turn a routine meal into a culinary quest (lol again). That is if you have any time left after work, kids, partners, sports, etc. etc. etc.

We can’t all be blessed with an entire hour just to place a napkin. But if on the off chance..

Connecting with others is for most of us, innately healing. In the age of tech, we all forget the power of face-to-face interactions. Meaningful conversations with loved or liked ones, smiling at the randomer on the Victoria Line, or asking to stroke that woman’s dog can all be points of slow, joyful mental gorgeousness. Once a woman actually just completely blanked me and walked herself and her hound straight past me when I asked to stroke her dog, which I took as a sign to go swiftly down the hill and have a McDonalds hamburger (a meagre 251 calories per sandwich according to www.nutrifox.com). Alas, if you can’t connect with humans, connect with the heavily slated American Dream directly through your taste buds.

Gratitude. Ever thought about making a list of the things you're grateful for each day? It could be as basic as “I am still alive”, “roof over head” or “the support of my 5 school friends and 4 favourite family members”. Right the way to the very cool stuff like taking yourself on holiday, and the memories. If you place your focus on the good stuff, it brings more good stuff. One little gratitude list now, try it now and see!

Get your passion on. What do you know you can do and absolutely love doing? Might be putting some tunes on, painting, looking through your camera reel at the snaps from the weekend in Wales, sleeping (for the more stressed ones among us), or going for an extensive walk around Big Tesco (don’t judge me for being passionate about Big Tesco - hours of entertainment).

What about combining the loves with the losses (e.g. tunes on, whilst washing up)? These activities are the tiny life rafts of dopamine you can plop yourself on, in the sea of the demands of daily life.

Try the above and let me know how you get on, maybe you will one day see sun rays shining directly down onto your head too, just like that blond woman up there in the photo that I found in the Squarespace stock photo gallery.

(Yes I get a hilarious amount of joy from a frequent visits to Big Tesco. Please, show me where those poor-fitting knitted jumpers are so I can try them on in the mirror in the middle of the shop because the fitting rooms are once again closed).

Jokes aside, life can be hard. We can’t all sail through the week with light shining directly out of our faces. But I have found such benefit from the above. Bring a dose of juicy joy to your day. On a serious note if you’re still unhappy in 2 weeks, get to your GP and talk to them about it.

P.S. Please also get in touch via this form if you’d just like to hear about a game my friend Alex introduced me to that I have recently christened “Where’s Ellie”. A game which is like Where’s Wally, but played in Big Tesco. Requires a minimum of 1 friend, 1 smart phone per person, name Ellie interchangeable with the name of whoever is your least favourite friend.